Friday, December 12, 2014
HAES(TM) Business Mastermind Holiday Health Blog Hop - Self-Support
HAESTM
Business Mastermind Holiday Health Blog Hop
12 December 2014
Rev. Dr. E-K. Daufin
If you HATE that song, “What do the lonely do at
Christmas,” and want to obliterate whatever
device that has the audacity to play
such a melancholy tune to you during the holiday season – This Blog Hop is for
you.
I don’t have a significant other (other than my dog, who
is great but really….), or functional family or nearby friends who have time
for me, or far away friends who even have time to talk to me very often. So the overwhelming cultural myth of the
happy extended family gatherings and romantic findings and celebrations from
the last Thursday in November… to New Year’s Day, can really bring me down. Do you feel me?
In addition to those factors, the holidays -- whether
you’re a religious devotee or an atheist, have an, “eat mindlessly, stuff
yourself and pledge to starve yourself come New Year’s Day,” sort of mandate
that doesn’t mix with HAESTM.
Here are a few hints for those of us for whom the
holiday just rubs in our face all the good things, people, support and connections
we DON’T have in our lives that makes it even harder to be grateful for the
good we DO have:
Ѽ There’s a new commercial this year whose refrain is,
“Eat a snack,” sung to the tune of “(If you’re happy and you know it,) Clap
your hands”. If you hear this commercial TURN IT OFF IMMEDIATELY. Unless of course you have a clapper for the
device it’s playing on, then you can actually clap your hands. Or, if you can bear to listen all the way
through just one last time, do so and note the product it promotes. Google the
maker and send their consumer affairs office an email that says basically, “I’m
not buying your product because of this commercial that promotes mindless
eating and stuffing our emotions even if it is candy-coated in a catchy
commercial tune that harkens back to my childhood. And SHAME ON YOU.”
Ѽ Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer was alone and dissed
during the holidays. But the very
characteristic that made him a pariah was finally deigned by the Big Guy (Santa
or insert your own deity.) to be the PERFECT one to save the day. You’re alone, take advantage of it. Sing Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer at the top
of your lungs and dance wildly around the house, while thinking about the above. It makes me
feel better. And even if it doesn’t
work for you, if you keep doing it, you’ll get tired as heck, go to sleep,
BINGO – one less day in this season to feel miserable. No self-criticism about your voice or your body
during any of these exercises, or any other time, any time of the year – is allowed.
Ѽ If you have a pet who will play with you (a dog or a
cat who is ready to roll when YOU are rather than the other way around), set a
timer and play with her for at least 10 minutes. If you don’t have a pet who will play with
you, or at all, do a little online research about what kind of dog would suit
your circumstance (Tiny apartment? Tiny budget? Allergies?). There’s plenty of helpful techniques online
you never even thought of and you’re a blog hopper right? Finish reading this and then hop on over
there and see. Or volunteer for your
local Humane Society. If there’s no
opportunity to be trained to work with the animals until after the holidays,
sign up for when it is available, put it on your calendar and do another round
of Rudolf. BTW ALWAYS ADOPT. If you wonder why I say this, Google, “Why you
should adopt rather than purchase a pet.”
Ѽ Okay, here’s the last one. Write/journal about what you would be doing
right now in your FANTASY relationships with ideal family, friends,
lover/spouse… if you had one. Many folk
say this will help manifest these situations in your life, if you do it
consistently and allow yourself to believe, the same way allow everything
outside the movie you love… to slip away when you watch it. Or…just go watch
one of those movies…If it’s sad you can cry, not for yourself mind you but
those poor, unfortunate characters in the story. You can laugh too if you’ve got a funny
one. Back to that manifestation thing…hasn’t
worked yet for me but I’m still livin’.
So who knows? It sure doesn’t
hurt.
So maybe one of these ideas catches your fancy and
works for you. Maybe reading this
reminded you of something you used to do that helped and you’re going to try it
again. May be you haven’t heard any new
ideas here to make the holidays less painful for you (Sorry! I tried!). Remember in any case, you are not alone in
your aloneness. Many put on a good face
but are not connected to the people they do have in their lives the way they
appear to be or talk about. The very
reason the media messages that say everyone’s loved and in-the-loop (except me…or
you) become media messages is that they reinforce a cultural myth that few if
any real people have completely.
Though others may have bigger pieces of the pie, I don’t think anyone has the whole pie. But if you’ve been practicing mindful eating
you already know that you aren’t really hungry for the whole pie, usually just
a dab will do ya’. Even if that dab
looks darn far away today, keep plugging and shine that gorgeous red nose of
yours. Santa may be calling on you soon.
______________________________________
Rev. Dr. E-K.
Daufin is a member of the HAESTM Business Mastermind, a HAESTM
feminist minister, performance poet, author and college professor specializing
in race, gender, size and the media.
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