Friday, December 12, 2014

HAES(TM) Business Mastermind Holiday Health Blog Hop - Self-Support

HAESTM Business Mastermind Holiday Health Blog Hop
12 December 2014
Rev. Dr. E-K. Daufin

If you HATE that song, “What do the lonely do at Christmas,”  and want to obliterate whatever device that has the audacity  to play such a melancholy tune to you during the holiday season – This Blog Hop is for you.

I don’t have a significant other (other than my dog, who is great but really….), or functional family or nearby friends who have time for me, or far away friends who even have time to talk to me very often.  So the overwhelming cultural myth of the happy extended family gatherings and romantic findings and celebrations from the last Thursday in November… to New Year’s Day, can really bring me down.  Do you feel me?

In addition to those factors, the holidays -- whether you’re a religious devotee or an atheist, have an, “eat mindlessly, stuff yourself and pledge to starve yourself come New Year’s Day,” sort of mandate that doesn’t mix with HAESTM

Here are a few hints for those of us for whom the holiday just rubs in our face all the good things, people, support and connections we DON’T have in our lives that makes it even harder to be grateful for the good we DO have:

Ѽ There’s a new commercial this year whose refrain is, “Eat a snack,” sung to the tune of “(If you’re happy and you know it,) Clap your hands”. If you hear this commercial TURN IT OFF IMMEDIATELY.  Unless of course you have a clapper for the device it’s playing on, then you can actually clap your hands.  Or, if you can bear to listen all the way through just one last time, do so and note the product it promotes. Google the maker and send their consumer affairs office an email that says basically, “I’m not buying your product because of this commercial that promotes mindless eating and stuffing our emotions even if it is candy-coated in a catchy commercial tune that harkens back to my childhood. And SHAME ON YOU.”

Ѽ Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer was alone and dissed during the holidays.  But the very characteristic that made him a pariah was finally deigned by the Big Guy (Santa or insert your own deity.) to be the PERFECT one to save the day.  You’re alone, take advantage of it.  Sing Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer at the top of your lungs and dance wildly around the house, while thinking about the above.  It makes me feel better.  And even if it doesn’t work for you, if you keep doing it, you’ll get tired as heck, go to sleep, BINGO – one less day in this season to feel miserable.  No self-criticism about your voice or your body during any of these exercises, or any other time, any time of the year – is allowed.

Ѽ If you have a pet who will play with you (a dog or a cat who is ready to roll when YOU are rather than the other way around), set a timer and play with her for at least 10 minutes.  If you don’t have a pet who will play with you, or at all, do a little online research about what kind of dog would suit your circumstance (Tiny apartment? Tiny budget? Allergies?).  There’s plenty of helpful techniques online you never even thought of and you’re a blog hopper right?  Finish reading this and then hop on over there and see.  Or volunteer for your local Humane Society.  If there’s no opportunity to be trained to work with the animals until after the holidays, sign up for when it is available, put it on your calendar and do another round of Rudolf. BTW ALWAYS ADOPT. If you wonder why I say this, Google, “Why you should adopt rather than purchase a pet.”

Ѽ Okay, here’s the last one.  Write/journal about what you would be doing right now in your FANTASY relationships with ideal family, friends, lover/spouse… if you had one.  Many folk say this will help manifest these situations in your life, if you do it consistently and allow yourself to believe, the same way allow everything outside the movie you love… to slip away when you watch it. Or…just go watch one of those movies…If it’s sad you can cry, not for yourself mind you but those poor, unfortunate characters in the story.  You can laugh too if you’ve got a funny one.  Back to that manifestation thing…hasn’t worked yet for me but I’m still livin’.  So who knows?  It sure doesn’t hurt.

So maybe one of these ideas catches your fancy and works for you.  Maybe reading this reminded you of something you used to do that helped and you’re going to try it again.  May be you haven’t heard any new ideas here to make the holidays less painful for you (Sorry!  I tried!).  Remember in any case, you are not alone in your aloneness.  Many put on a good face but are not connected to the people they do have in their lives the way they appear to be or talk about.  The very reason the media messages that say everyone’s loved and in-the-loop (except me…or you) become media messages is that they reinforce a cultural myth that few if any real people have completely. 

Though others may have bigger pieces of the pie, I don’t think anyone has the whole pie.  But if you’ve been practicing mindful eating you already know that you aren’t really hungry for the whole pie, usually just a dab will do ya’.  Even if that dab looks darn far away today, keep plugging and shine that gorgeous red nose of yours.  Santa may be calling on you soon.

Rev. Dr. E-K. Daufin is a member of the HAESTM Business Mastermind, a HAESTM feminist minister, performance poet, author and college professor specializing in race, gender, size and the media.  

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